My breath steams up the glass (11th April 2008)

'Don't bullshit a bullshitter'
Words of wisdom from
Someone I know
You can always trust a
Liar to lie.
It's the honest ones
You have to look out for because
No one likes or believes the truth.

It's ok though because I can read faces
Like I read my own when I practise
In front of the mirror to
Look how I think I should for that day. I have
Arguments with myself, fuelled by things
We have never said
And will never say, simply battling my
Own insecurities.

Everyone loves the inevitable, it's
Boring as hell but
Makes you smirk as you feel clever knowing
You already knew what was coming, like a
Modern-day psychic.
It's easy and you can plan your outfit in advance because
Just one mistake and and 'Then there'll be trouble'.
One mistake is a problem, definitely.
Yeh, no one likes a problem.. but have you
Considered that if you make a mistake twice
That maybe it isn't one? that it's they way things would, should, be
If you weren't too useless to let go of the lies it shakes up, the error
Of not making the mistake for a third time.

No one likes a rebel but they
Admire them and wish for a minute they
Could be a rebel too, with a
Book in one hand
And a star in the other. It's easy for you to
Go home and plan tomorrow, safe in the knowledge that
Tomorrow has already happened in someone else's mind and
'Hey, they survived it'.

It took me sixteen years to realise that
You were right, and eighteen to know that
I was too, but two decades to finally accept the fact that
We were both way out of our depth, and will always be.
I think I was late to start becoming myself in general,
Late to start hurting people and early to finish, so when it
Came to the time that it came round to me I had
No idea what to do.
I used to be like a model in love with her photographer and
Now I am just a girl in love with the world.